Automaker Bailout Humor- Better to laugh than cry.

[MR LIPP]

[gulf911]

Ok mr Lipp, that was awesome!!

[thunderbox]

I find this a very interesting study in human behavior. First we give 700 billion to the banks and lenders that f'd up so bad that the whole world felt it. We gave it to them with no strings and no limits, just here you go. Not even a smack on the hand for making really bad choices and doing bad business and high priced CEO's... Now three of the largest employers in the US are asking for LOANS to try to stay in business and keep the people that work for them employed. Everyone gives them crap for their high priced CEO's, Funny. Now everyone wants to talk crap about their products. Funny, until gas prices went through the roof everyone bought their cars. Every soccer mom needed an Expedition or Suburban. When gas goes up and they all can't afford to drive them they whine that Detroit should have made them get better gas mileage. Seems to me, you bought it, it's not Fords fault. What ever happened to supply and demand. People demanded those autos, Detroit supplied them. Most who has bought a newer American car can tell you that they are not the POS that every would lead you to believe. They are as well made as the next in most cases. Look around, how many 1995 Honda's do you see on the road? How about Hyundai's? When was the last time you saw even a late 90's Accura? I see a lot of late 80's and 90's American cars still on the road. Strange. So, go ahead all you and tell the American auto industry to piss off and don't help them, see how that will change life the way we know it. Going to be some big lines at the food bank.

I know that the American auto industry is not without fault, but not as bad as some people might make you think. Congress is just as much to blame as the auto industry. Sure they spent money lobbying, but it seems to me the idiots in Congress could have done their jobs and passed bills and laws based on what was best for the country and the world and not the lobbyists. That's just my views. I'm sure you all have your own.

[LUCKY DAVE]

I like my Chevy Suburban. It's kind of similar to a steam locomotive but very comfy.
Do you think the National instructor will look at me funny if I bring it instead of my prepared car on Sunday?

[gulf911]

I think it an interesting look at ignorance , arrogance and thier sense of entitlement. By your theory, now that gas is way cheap everyone should buy tons of american again. If everybody bought tons of american they wouldn't be in this perdicament. Where else can you work that pays your entire salary and you get to stay when your job is replaced? What ever happend to when you can't be competative you adjust your business model or go out of business? American cars are reliable and not necessarily POS's , but 'compared' to other makes they are. Fit & Finish, materials, design etc etc etc. is comparatively lacking for the typical GM car. I'd say sure bail em out, but "we the people" own it , UAW is out, and the employees get paid a competative salary, just for starters...

now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

[Autobahn]

Well put gulf911, I feel the same way. For decades they have been getting a hall pass on so many levels. The sad part is you can jump in an old used 1985 528e BMW for $1000 and have a better driving car than anything the big three can produce for under $20k. You would think they could just reversed engineer a German car from 20 years ago... that would be a good starting point, if they still have time.

[John Straub]

Where am I going...and why am I in this handbasket? And where's my bail out?

John

[cam]

How come after years of building what they want to and telling us we need the big cars, they run their businesses into the ground and the first guy to get blamed or feel the hit financially will be the poor shlub who puts the car together. He didn't design it, He wasn't asked his opinion. He just waits for the part to come along and puts it on. But it's his fault that they can't make a profit? BMW, Porsche, etc. etc. workers get a more than fair wage and they seem to be doing ok. But that CEO making 26 M+ has nothing to do with it. Sorry about the working shlub rant but in the industry I'm in went thru this 18 years ago and went from something you did as a career that you were proud of to something you do until you get a better offer, the pride went away and the quality suffered, while the companies that "had to" make these changes made record profits. The lack of foresight in these companies is incredible, where do we stop ???

[MVZ944T]

The problem is we are not just going to bail out the Big 3, we are bailing out the UAW. They have roughly 12,000 employes that report to work centers and play cards daily, for $31 per hour plus benefits. Not to mention the average wage based on the cost of living around the Detroit area. This is a perfect example of unionism having gone way too far and we and our children, and our grandchildren will be paying their wages.

[chet]

Bottom line - the labor structure of the big three is not a viable business today, and the unions are too arrogant or corrupt to see reality for what it is. Where else in America - or anywhere else for that matter - can you make the kind of hourly wage plus benefits plus retirement that the big three hourly workers make today for the kind of work that they do. This is not to absolve the horrible management for their misguided decisions along the way. FIre the management responsible, streamline the rest of the management structure, throw out the existing labor contract and replace it with something reasonable, downsize/consolidate brands and the dealer structure and we have a start at a viable business. Anything less is kicking the can down the road and will result in a lot more $ lost and a lot more tears.

[harnishclan]

Average UAW worker receives $73 per hour in pay and benefits and yet 67% of them never spent a day in college to do it. For the last 18 months every non-Cadillac cost GM $3K to sell. There is a problem in your business model when it costs you money to sell your product.

[Irksome]

I am amazed how everyone agrees on WHAT the problem is, but yet it persists.

I've got absolutely no issue with unions for their intended purpose: to provide protection for working class individuals from abuse by corporations. While not a legal definition, that's really the intent. Where in that does it say the employees get to set wages? Seriously, unless they are demanding that they meet the governmental minimum wage, they should not have that power. Take that one power away from unions (and I include all benefits in the 'wage' category) and this problem just goes POOF!

It's not just the auto industry, but it certainly is outrageously out of control there.

[Jad]

Unfortunately, I think the problem is very complex. It isn't a problem, it is everything. The unions are killing the very poor upper management, which is selling generally lessor products that were designed to death by committee. It is a way of doing business that should have died in the 70's, but persists today. Anyone with much business background knows, changing a corporate culture is nearly impossible and the Detroit auto culture runs generations deeps and won't just change overnight, or in a year or two or five.

Replacing the top 10% of management, and the labor contracts would be the only way to start to really change the industry in my opinion.

[SDGT3]

Here's a funny one in the better to laugh than cry department. Merry Christmas.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a0f_1229668889

[MR LIPP]

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.
I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.
I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAMM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.
THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.
PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON